my new site

[nabisco shine]

delete

[JaredPointer]

The long run-on sentence with no capitalization and punctuation on the very first page needs some work.

[black bart]

Originally Posted by JaredPointer

The long run-on sentence with no capitalization and punctuation on the very first page needs some work.

I Agree

[Stephan]

I agree your first page needs some cleaning up.

Check punctuation--An ellipsis (the three dots) means something is missing; it does not mean a pause. If you are not indicating here that words are missing from a quote, instead use a dash.

There are some spacing and capitalization issues and you may want to break this down into some smaller sentences.

Also you may want to say "I use professional products" instead of "I used professional products" it makes it seem like you no longer use them. The layout is fine it just needs a bit more formal writing.

[Poorboy]

also do not use negatives like " I do not"

[njcarting1]

Remember people will judge you on spelling and grammar on your page. Like others said you should clean up the wording about the business. I think you are off to a great start. I think the prices are good also not trying to "GOUGE" people like some other's are on here . I would also have a testimonial's page, or link so people can see some feedback on your work. You might also want to list some of the products, or at least the manufactures of the products you will be using on their cars.

You are off to a good start keep up the hard work. Don't get a big head like some have starting out and over state your self worth in extremely high pricing . Keep the prices fair and you will have lots of work. It takes time to build a reputation and peoples trust you gotta pay your dues first it takes time not overnight. Some think they have the tools and a few products and can be held in the highest regard in there new endeavor. It takes time.

[nabisco shine]

Thanks everyone I will do it I'm not gonna show this to anyone yet I figure ill show it to you guys first and u guys can help and I was half dead when I did this lol. But I will do everything u guys say thanks

[nabisco shine]

Ok, I fixed my spelling and grammer. Check it out and let me know what you guys think now. Thanks for the input

[mrclean81]

When I was building my myspace page, I redone it several times before getting it the way it needed to be. There is a fine line between educating clients on the differance between high quality and poor quality work, and slamming your competition. I found it to be more tasteful to not even mention it at all. I didn't see anything like that on your site, which is good so always keep the message positive and stay away from talking smack about your competition.

[JaredPointer]

Not so sure I'd be so "demanding" when stating that you can be mobile by requiring a shade/garage/carport. Mobile means mobile, and some customers don't have those things. Why not buy a canopy of some sort?

Also, the little tidbit at the bottom of the front page is a little out of place (to me). I think if you're gonna have an education section, make it it's own page. The intro page should be just that - an intro about you.

I'd also think about using an hourly rate instead of some flat rate and telling some people their vehicles are gonna cost more. For one, if it were me looking, that'd probably be enough to driver me away as I have a big @$$ truck. Secondly, it doesn't sound professional to me - it'd sound more professional to base everything off an hourly rate.

[nabisco shine]

hey thanks jp do u think i can get in trouble if i take the pic of the 5 step cycle on autogeek web page and put it on mine

[JaredPointer]

I hope you're not taking any of this the wrong way - I'm really just trying to offer some advice, so take it for what it's worth (I'm really not motivated to work today...)

I think you ought to nix the "products" tab and use it for something else. Most folks are not gonna give a rip about what it is you're using as long as the car looks good when you're done.

Review your "about me" tab as well.

[JaredPointer]

Originally Posted by nabisco shine

hey thanks jp do u think i can get in trouble if i take the pic of the 5 step cycle on autogeek web page and put it on mine

I'm not sure what that is, but if it is on AG, you should ask them before using it. They're on the DC board here.

[nabisco shine]

no jp i need all the help i need all input is great im taking it in a good way